so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
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The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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