Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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