He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
