She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
