From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
