The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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