i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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