Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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