My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
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Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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