i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
