Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
