still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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