Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
