he thought i was a dude.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
