i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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