Nicole vs. Life
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
