He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
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Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
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The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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