Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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