So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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