just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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