I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
