My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
