those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
