I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
