She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
