You're my little dorito
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
