I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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