Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
