A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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