It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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