your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
They took my balls.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
