she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize