so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
