Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
