Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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