That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
