I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
