so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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