so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
