wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
