Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
