Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
