So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
