He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My feet surprised me
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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