I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
