how can u be prego again
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
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He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
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Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize