When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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