My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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