Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
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I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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