I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
