i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
