so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
