I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
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