I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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