my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
