i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just high enough for therapy.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Pooping to opera.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
