my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
