i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
